Personal Problems

* Her: “I can't talk to some guy without him trying to fuck me at some point. “
Him: “ I can't fuck a woman without her falling in love with me at some point.”
Her: “ I mean: Can't we just talk without sex? “
Him: “ I mean: Can't we just have sex without talk? “
Her: “ Pffff ...”
Him: “ Pffff ... “

 * Miriam and Jacob were having intercourse for half an hour already.
 - Jacob! Jacob! Stop! ... Jacob, stop!
- Yes, what's wrong?
- Aren't you going to make love?
- Yes, let me just fuck you a little bit more.

*  Dorian and Maggie were having intercourse for 15 minutes.
 - Hmmm, Dorian, tell me something really nasty!
- ...
- Come on, Dorian!
- ... Saddam Hussein?!

* Once upon a time there was the most beautiful girl in the world who loved catching butterflies. She was catching them all the time: at home, at school, on the street or in her sleep so she didn't notice Billy's deep love for her.

He tried every day to get her attention by bringing her flowers, chocolates, jewelry and writing love poems and essays but she was way to busy following her butterflies.

Years passed and Billy gave up on the idea of having her. It was winter and he was walking alone down the alee thinking:

“ What was I thinking? How could I even dream about a girl like that. Of course she didn't want me, of course she didn't want anyone. “Nothing” is closer to perfection that any human being.”

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a timid crystalline voice. It was her.

- Billy, hey! Listen, I noticed you noticing me and I was wondering ... well ... would you like to fuck?

- Oh, hell yeah!

                                                                - The end -