Saturday, February 23, 2013

Me and Satan ( Out for a drink )

- I like this place. It's nice. 
- Hmm, yes and the bier is good.
- Yes, very good indeed. I must say I like it very much. As ma matter of fact, i think I'm going to order another one right now. Waiter! One more bier please. 
- You know, I always wanted to ask you ... Why do you take all this crap from people? I mean ... Why don't you just defend yourself. 
Satan took a deep breath, put on his sad face and told me in a low calm voice:
- You know ... I guess I kinda hoped for people to realize by themselves how stupid this God thing is, that they will see that most of the horrors done on earth are not done in my name, but in the name of God, but I guess there is no way of reasoning ... seeing that I became first disgusted and later bored. I mean what's the point? 
- I understand, but is not really fair to you isn't it? I mean ... you are such a great guy, sweet and funny ... I think you should do something about it. 
- Hey, easy with the sweet and funny or I'll start to think you want to blow me. 
- Ha ha ha. 
- Don't get offended now, I might actually like it. 
- Go to hell, Satan!
- Ha ha ha. You see, I the opponent gives you the value, what should I do now? Make a revolution? Try to convince people of what? That their spiritual leader is bullshit and that Satan the one who burns people in hell is actually a normal guy? Plus I kinda took part at this, I shouldn't had make that bet. 
- Waiter! One more bier for me too, please! What bet?
- One day I was with God and we were just hanging out ... like guys you know. We were both younger and could take much more than today, so after 2 bottles of whiskey, half kilo of weed, and 10 lines of coke He told me " Hey, people are the most stupid beings on the planet. Fuck, man, the are stuuuuuupiiiiid." "I wouldn't say that. They are the only rational beings on the face of the Earth. They did so many great things." said I. " Great things my ass! I bet I can tell them any fuckin' stupid thing and, for the sake of security, they will believe anything ... ANYTHING!". " I think you took a lot and you think too much of yourself right now." " Do you wanna bet? Do you dare? ", " Give me a splif of that joint! Phhhhhhhhh ... Yes, I dare, what are we betting on?", " Look, we'll do like this: if I win you will have to take people's hatred forever, If I lose It will o on me. Agree?", " Agree, but what do you have in mind?", "I'm gonna make up some story and tell them that I created them. I'll tell them that I first created the man and then the woman from the man's rib ...", " What? No way, man!", " ... and since I am their creator they will have to obey me forever and to whatever I tell them no matter how stupid it is. I' bet I can convince them to sacrifice their own children for me, I'll give them commandments, they will obey them, they will believe anything!  I'll tell them that you wanted my power and so I sent you away from the my marvelous Kingdom of Heaven and that you are super wicked. They will all hate your guts.", " Man, you know I had always appreciated your self confidence, but I think this time you are going too far. ", " We'll see, tomorrow night we get really hammered and we write all this bullshit in a book and we throw it on Earth. Is gonna be really fun! They will chase you around and spit on you just because I told them so and Me ... I will RULE. Hahahaha!" ... And I guess you imagine what followed. 
- Oh, shit! That's heavy! And aren't you gonna do anything about it?
- Like what? He was right, people really are stuuuuupiiiiid, they believed everything we wrote in that book without thinking or questioning. This is it, I lost! 
- Poor little thing.
- Stop talking to me like that or I'll think you want to suck my balls.
- Shit, you're disgusting! 
- I'm drunk, let's go home. 
- Alright. Waiter, check please! 

                                                                      _ The End _ 


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